AuthorGreedo Where to watch:
Netflix; the smoke-filled barrel of a muzzledloader Impression: This was one of those movies that if it was playing on TV (and it seemed like this and The Shawshank Redemption were always on TNT during the early oughts) I was watching it. Maybe not all the way to the end. But still. This was directed by Roland Emmerich not Wolfgang Petersen. Emmerich likes to direct big budget nonsense. With titles like Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 under his belt, he has directed a lot of hours of it. Reaction: Everyone agrees that England in the 18th century were tea-drinking jerks that got what was coming to them. Emmerich makes sure those blimeys get a lot, including making General Cornwallis look the fool. Haha! Mel Gibson is great. His subtle and not-so-subtle facial expressions cut deep to the core. No. Deeper. Then, he retrieves his weapons and the fun begins. Kodachrome. Give us those nice bright colors. Give us those greens of summer. Makes you think all the world's a sunny day. Oh yeah. This movie looks glorious. Blues, reds and greens pop off the screen like heads pop off of bodies. The Patriot is long (3 hours) and feels even longer (4 hours). It is the perfect TV movie because you can tune in at any point and quickly grasp the theme and tone. Strong characters keep the exposition engaging and you're never far from battlefield-shaking destruction or forest-stalking clandestinity. Favorite Line/Scene: Heath Ledger: "I'm not a child!" Mel Gibson: "You're my child!" Oooo. Deep core cuts. Other notables: Two charismatic Australian males lead a story about the plucky Americans gaining independence over the vile British. I know there is a parable in there about colonialism but it's just out of reach. Jason Isaacs is under-rated and Tcheky Karyo plays Napoleon (?). More fun trivia: This movie opened behind Wolfgang Petersen's The Perfect Storm. I'm telling you they are connected somehow. Caleb Deschanel was nominated for best cinematography at the 2001 Oscars and lost in an absolutely stacked field including the Gladiator, O Brother, Where Art Thou? and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (which won). Conclusion: For period war films, usually Glory gets covered in the, uh, glory; but, the Patriot is a worthy addition to the genre. Some might complain the Patriot is not a faithful representation of historical fact. If you get your facts from movies, you should have your suffrage revoked like English control over the colonies. Please reboot Stargate. Please. Arbitrary rating: 95% of the time this hits 80% of your feelings. 5% of the time you won't bother to pause while you get up to use the restroom, wash your face and refill your beverage.
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AuthorsContinuing the tradition of reviews nobody asked for. Archives
November 2020
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