AuthorGreedo Where to watch:
Amazon Prime; the potty training crate of a pre-teen wolf Impression: It's 1985. I'm born. As I open my eyes, there's no one there. Everyone is busy watching the new sensation, Back to the Future. Two months later, another movie starring Michael J Fox is released, and people go, "what the heck" and see that too. I enjoyed Teen Wolf growing up, probably after consuming a medium, cheese pizza and a liter of cola. What's not to like? Michael J Fox is a teen wolf and there's a fun scene where the Beach Boys' blast on the radio during a dangerous game of car surfing. Reaction: We can all relate to the uncertainty of high school: worrying about popularity, getting the attention of a special boy/girl, grades... Psyche! It's being a teenage werewolf, slam dunking on your enemies and stealing their girlfriends. Is it me, or is MJF kind of a dick in this movie? Every scene and character in Teen Wolf is an 80s cliche. It makes you appreciate John Hughes ability to subvert those cliches into meaningful scenes between emotionally complex teenagers. Teen Wolf has no such subtlety. For instance, a teenager's (23-year-old MJF in reality) literal transformation into a hairy monster is actually an allegory about hormones! If that feels a little on the snout and you don't give a damn, then this movie is for you. At a high school somewhere in California, all the characters in this film, teen wolf, his cheeky friend, the girl he should be with, the girl he wants to be with and evil boyfriend, weave in and out of the same scenes without reason. It's weird. In the overly long conclusion, the state basketball championship is played by two teams that apparently go to the same school. The only logic is that teen wolfism is hereditary as explained by Ned Beatty. Oh, sorry. That's James Hampton and he makes the school principle pee his pants. Being a dick is hereditary too! Favorite Line/Scene: Coach: It's not how you play the game. It's whether you win or lose. And even that doesn't make all that much difference. Life! Other notables: The movie seem like it was shot in about 12 days of madcap chaos. And it shows! Steady cam rails are clearly visible in the window of a shop that MJF and Boof walk by. Side note: what kind of name is Boof? Is it short for something? Boofalina? Another use of clever editing is the extremely, unnecessarily, inconsequentially long championship basketball game in which the same shots of white guys making uncontested layups play again and again. And again. Is this championship game ever going to end? Yes! More fun trivia: Apparently, the Teen Wolf house is the same house as Marty's mother as a youth in Back to the Future. It's in Pasadena. Everything is connected. Conclusion: I like a good sports movie but that last basketball match went on for like an hour. There is nothing new or interesting being accomplished here but Michael J Fox is five feet and four inches of charismatic stud. If you're 13 (or 13 at heart) and want to know exactly what high school is not like, grab yourself a liter of cola, a medium, cheese pizza and pop in (stream) Teen Wolf. Arbitrary rating: Half a howl at a crescent-shaped moon thing.
Comments
|
AuthorsContinuing the tradition of reviews nobody asked for. Archives
November 2020
Categories
All
|